Building an Effective Communication

Widya Anatasyah | 3E | 1910631060204 | Post Intermediate Reading

Good communication or better known as effective communication is a very important part in our life, because effective communication is about more than just exchanging information. It is about understanding the emotion and intentions behind the information. As well as being able to clearly convey a message, we need to also listen in a way that gains the full meaning of what’s being said and makes the other person feel heard and understood. 

Effective communication sounds like it should be instinctive. But all too often, when we try to communicate with others something goes astray. We say one thing, the other person hears something else, and misunderstandings, frustration, and conflicts ensue. This can cause problems in your home, school, and work relationships. 

As mentioned above. Since communication is a core part of the human experience. If there is something not good in communication occur, there will be many miscommunications. This miscommunication if left to sit for too long and each individual does not want to lower their ego to communicate it well. So, do not get blamed if a relationship would ends quickly. Whether kinship, friendship, even between superiors and employees. Due to the feeling of not wanting to lose, shame, and negative feelings, as well as other unpleasant things keep getting deeper and deeper. Until at the end, there were no more warm talks or even just a greetings.

Many things causes bad communication as follows:

1. Stress and out-of-control emotion. When you are stressed or emotionally overwhelmed, you are more likely to misread other people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior. To avoid conflict and misunderstandings, you can learn how to quickly calm down before continuing a conversation.

2. Lack of focus. You cannot communicate effectively when you are multitasking. If you are checking your phone, planning what you’re going to say next, or daydreaming, you are almost certain to miss nonverbal cues in the conversation. To communicate effectively, you need to avoid distractions and stay focused.

3. Inconsistent body language. Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else, your listener will likely feel that you’re being dishonest. For example, you cannot say “yes” while shaking your head no.

4. Negative body language. If you disagree with or dislike what’s being said, you might use negative body language to rebuff the other person’s message, such as crossing your arms, avoiding eye contact, or tapping your feet. You don’t have to agree with, or even like what’s being said, but to communicate effectively and not put the other person on the defensive, it’s important to avoid sending negative signals.

So, how to fix it?

The way to fix a communication that is not go well is by applying effective communication skills. But, before doing that, trying to apologize each other first. Then, communicate again all the things that need to be straightened out. You have to make sure there is no miscommunication left behind. Therefore, communication in the future can be built even better by applying these following skills.

1. Become an engaged listener

When communicating with others, we often focus on what we should say. However, good communication is less about talking and more about listening. Listening well means not just understanding the words or the information being communicated, but also understanding the emotions the speaker is trying to convey. 

There’s a big difference between engaged listening and simply hearing. When you really listen “when you are engaged with what’s being said” you will hear the subtle intonations in someone’s voice that tell you how that person is feeling and the emotions they are trying to communicate. When you are an engaged listener, not only will you better understand the other person, you’ll also make that person feel heard and understood, which can help build a stronger, deeper connection between you.

By communicating in this way, you’ll also experience a process that lowers stress and supports physical and emotional well-being. If the person you’re talking to is calm, for example, listening in an engaged way will help to calm you, too. Similarly, if the person is agitated, you can help calm them by listening in an attentive way and making the person feel understood.

If your goal is to fully understand and connect with the other person, listening in an engaged way will often come naturally. If it doesn’t, try the following tips. The more you practice them, the more satisfying and rewarding your interactions with others will become.

2. Pay attention to nonverbal signals

The way you look, listen, move, and react to another person tells them more about how you are feeling than words alone ever can. Nonverbal communication, or body language, includes facial expressions, body movement and gestures, eye contact, posture, the tone of your voice, and even your muscle tension and breathing. Developing the ability to understand and use nonverbal communication can help you connect with others, express what you really mean, navigate challenging situations, and build better relationships at home and work.

3. Keep stress in check

How many times have you felt stressed during a disagreement with your spouse, kids, boss, friends, or coworkers and then said or done something you later regretted? If you can quickly relieve stress and return to a calm state, you will not only avoid such regrets, but in many cases you will also help to calm the other person as well. It’s only when you are in a calm, relaxed state that you’ll be able to know whether the situation requires a response, or whether the other person’s signals indicate it would be better to remain silent. In situations such as a job interview, business presentation, high-pressure meeting, or introduction to a loved one’s family, for example, it’s important to manage your emotions, think on your feet, and effectively communicate under pressure.

4. Assert yourself

Direct, assertive expression makes for clear communication and can help boost your self-esteem and decision-making skills. Being assertive means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in an open and honest way, while standing up for yourself and respecting others. It does NOT mean being hostile, aggressive, or demanding. Good communication is always about understanding the other person, not about winning an argument or forcing your opinions on others.

Sources:

•Pinterest

•https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/effective-communication.htm